Vol. I, No. 299

Forecast Heavy puns, clearing by lunch

Today’s big storyPun Monday

How’s the new furniture store doing?

Grand Opening Report. How’s the new furniture store doing? Sofa, so good!

Grand Opening Report

The showroom is full of comfortable optimism.

The answer

Sofa, so good!

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How it works

  1. 1 Read the headline
  2. 2 The page turns itself
  3. 3 Groan, then send it
Yesterday’s editionDefinitional Loophole

Your reading streak

Read a page each day and Dad keeps count.

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This week in the paper

MonPunTueWildcard: Tuesday, Wildcard, not yet printedWedAnimal: Wednesday, Animal Wednesday, not yet printedThuWildcard: Thursday, Wildcard, not yet printedFriFood: Friday, Food Friday, not yet printedSatWildcard: Saturday, Wildcard, not yet printedSunWildcard: Sunday, Wildcard, not yet printed

A new issue every day at midnight UTC. Monday is puns, Wednesday is animals, Friday is food, every other day is a Wildcard, and a few days of the year have a theme of their own. Tomorrow is a Wildcard.

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