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Late Edition

Vol. I, No. 309

Forecast Nostalgia, with a chance of cassette tape

Today’s big storyWildcard

Number of unicorns + 5 = 5.

By Dad, Chief Pun Correspondent

Math Class for Believers. Number of unicorns + 5 = 5. Unicorns don’t exist.

Math Class for Believers

Zero unicorns were harmed in this equation.

The answer

Unicorns don’t exist.

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This week in the paper

MonPunTueWildcardWedAnimalThuWildcardFriFood: Friday, Food Friday, not yet printedSatWildcard: Saturday, Wildcard, not yet printedSunWildcard: Sunday, Wildcard, not yet printed

A new issue every day at midnight UTC. Monday is puns, Wednesday is animals, Friday is food, every other day is a Wildcard, and a few days of the year have a theme of their own. Tomorrow is Food Friday.

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