Vol. I, No. 287

Forecast A stampede of puns, mild eye-rolling

Today’s big storyAnimal Wednesday

What do you call a snake that works for the government?

Reptiles on the Payroll. What do you call a snake that works for the government? Civil serpent!

Reptiles on the Payroll

A snake stamps forms with patience.

The answer

Civil serpent!

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Yesterday’s editionThe Safest Pickup Line

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This week in the paper

MonPunTueWildcardWedAnimalThuWildcard: Thursday, Wildcard, not yet printedFriFood: Friday, Food Friday, not yet printedSatWildcard: Saturday, Wildcard, not yet printedSunWildcard: Sunday, Wildcard, not yet printed

A new issue every day at midnight UTC. Monday is puns, Wednesday is animals, Friday is food, every other day is a Wildcard, and a few days of the year have a theme of their own. Tomorrow is a Wildcard.

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